There’s always going to be arguments and misunderstandings in any relationship and how you react to them will determine the next step in the relationship. You might be in a situation whereby you broke up with your boyfriend due to something that happened and you want some time to be alone, it’s probably nothing serious but due to the heat of the situation you decided to break up with him.
You dumped him and he hasn’t called? Honestly there are various reasons that explain why he hasn’t called back and it could either be because the both of you had been in a very good relationship and the breakup came as a shock to him or he might think you need some time to yourself and don’t want to be in the way of that.
Understand that we all make mistake and you are not exempted from that as well, you might realize later on that you made a mistake by breaking up with your boyfriend and then you want him back. It then hit you that ever since you broke up with him, he hasn’t reached out to you and you start feeling worried and asking yourself “why hasn’t he called me back”. Right now all you have to do is calm down because you still have a chance of making it right with him again.
If you genuinely feel the need to get back with him then you need to do some assessment of your own. You need to ask yourself some serious questions to know what made you break up with him, did you utter those words because of how you were feeling at the moment. Now if it wasn’t anything serious that led to the break up and you feel bad about it then there are chances that he might be feeling bad as well because he didn’t get an explanation on what happened.
You should know that guys are different from women in a situation like this. Remember that you broke up with him without giving him a reason why or at least explaining what happened to him. At a time like this, guys tend to be more closed in themselves, the reason being it’s harder for them to forgive and in some cases keep the anger in them for a very long as a way to mask the hurt they feel.
At this point, you start realizing why he hasn’t reached out to you since you broke up with him, he is hurt at the moment and needs some time to process everything that happened and start questioning if he hasn’t be doing right by you.
If you feel bad for what happened then you should aim at approaching him in a way that he will feel comfortable talking to you again because if he was to see you out of the blue the chances of him thinking about how hurt and humiliated he felt when you broke up with him is high. He’s going to need some time to heal and if he really loves you, he will be ready to go the extra mile with you. Every relationship is built and there’s always going to be ups and downs.
Just as it was mentioned earlier, you need to do some assessment on what happened and how you will be able to get him back since he hasn’t called you back ever since you dumped him.
WHY DID YOU BREAKUP WITH HIM
This should be the deal breaker for you, give yourself time to think about why you ended things with him. Could the reason be because of the way he behaves or probably you both had a misunderstanding. Then again you might have broken up with him during the heat of an argument.
There’s something ladies do which shouldn’t be encouraged and that is breaking up with your boyfriend to test him and see if he will fight to get you back. The reason why it shouldn’t be encouraged is because you have no idea how he will take the break up, how all of it is going to make him feel, it’s not fair to do that to him.
Now whatever was the reason that made you break up with him, you need to seriously ask yourself “why it happened” and also think on whatever may be the reason and you also need to think about what you need to fix it and while doing that you should be true to yourself too.
It might be a situation that wasn’t looking too well for the relationship and you had to call it quits then you probably shouldn’t be bothered since he hasn’t called you back. You have to ensure that whatever happened should be something that you can both work out and eventually move on from.
REACH OUT TO HIM
Now that you have been able to figure what made you break up with him in the first place and you want to work things out with him then you would want to take your time with this because this right here is going to be different from what you might be expecting.
At this point you want to win him back after the break up and all you have to do is apologize to him that’s the way to win a man back. A better for you to do this is for you to send him a letter of apology, the reason for this is because he will be more eager and interest to read all what you wrote in the letter. You should take responsibility for your part in the breakup, be honest with him and give him the assurance that it will never happen and give room for better understanding.
Let it be clear to him that you feel bad for breaking up with him and how doing that was a mistake. You are already aware that he’s hurt and angry at you and that’s the more reason you had to reach out to him because you understand how he’s feeling.
Be genuine with your intentions because you need him to forgive you and that’s why you need to come forward with everything that has happened. Be aware of the fact that he’s not going to forgive you all of a sudden but he will be impressed at the fact you sent him a letter apologizing and just like that you have gotten through to him a little bit.
GIVE HIM SPACE
After sending him the letter you would want to give him some time to process everything that has happened so you might want to restrain yourself from bombarding him countless messages if he doesn’t reach out to you after you sent him the letter of apology. You have put all your feelings and emotions in that letter and it’s all up to him to decide what he wants.
Try as much as you can not to contact him after sending the letter; don’t do anything that is going to push him further away from you. He already went through the letter and he’s impressed that you took the extra mile to reach out to him. All he needs now is space to decide on what he wants and if he loves you he’s going to want to get back with you.
The reason why you should restrain from constantly messaging is because you already poured out your heart in that letter and after reading it, he’ll probably start thinking of the good times you both had together and then he will start missing you. There won’t be room for that if he keeps getting calls after calls from you asking him if he got your letter.
HAVE A MILD ATTITUDE TOWARDS HIM
Him running back to you isn’t going to happen overnight, the reason being that you need to treat him differently now so you should try as much as you can to be friendly towards him when he decides to get in touch with you after the letter. You want to make him feel comfortable whenever he’s talking with you and whenever he brings up anything related to the breakup talk to him in a more calming matter.
You already sent him a letter apologizing so he knows already that you are sorry which is why you would to stop apologizing to him constantly when he brings up the breakup. This time around all you should be focused on doing is being nice to him and staying calm around. You will only throw him off if you keep begging him to take you back, when you are being desperate or needy.
He got in touch with you to talk since he got your letter, don’t do anything that would make him question why he contacted you in the first place. You want to win him back so your attitude towards him should be welcoming, he should feel some sort of comfort talking to you. Try as much as you can not to make things too intense for him.
STAY IN CONTACT WITH HIM
Since he has been able to get in touch with you after the letter then it’s safe to say you can stay in contact with him. Let’s say few days have gone by since he reached out to you then you can as well return the favor by putting a call across to him.
Nothing too serious, you can just tell him you are getting in touch to know how he has been doing and know if he would want to go out to get coffee with you some time. Assure him that you will both be going out as friends, obviously that’s not your main aim but you would want to ease him back to you.
When you are with him, don’t miss the opportunity to reminisce on some great memories the both of you have. Focus on making him think more on the positive memories try as much as you can to avoid bringing up hurtful memories that would tense up the environment and end up making everything awkward.
Let him realize just how much fun it was when the both of you were together, make some few jokes and get him to smile back at you. Doing all of these will stand out to him and he will realize why he was with you to begin with and he wouldn’t want a little misunderstanding to come in between the both of you.
Accept that your actions led you to where you are now so you have to remain positive about everything and you have to be patient as well if you truly want to win him back after the breakup. You are going to think there’s no point but you can never tell if you don’t try and no matter the outcome you know you did your best to get him back. You have to at least give it your all to spark that feeling back in him.
Remember that you broke up with him and didn’t leave him with an explanation, that’s enough to hurt him and start making him question if he has offended you in the past and since you left without giving him an answer he’s not going to see the point of calling you after the break up. You left without an explanation so he feels like he should do the same.
The outcome of things might be different from what you want, you have done everything that you are required to do and it turns out that he really just moved on after the break up, all you can do now is accept what has happened and move on as well. This will be like another lesson learnt from you and how well you can handle situations in your next relationship and let’s say eventually you both got back together then you know what to do different this time around.