How To DM A Girl On Instagram (With Examples)

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There’s obviously going to be that one girl that catches your interest on Instagram and you would like to engage her in a conversation with her so you will be able to know more about her. However you would want to know the right way to message her so that you don’t come off as a creep.

How to DM a girl on Instagram? You have to realize if she’s pretty then there’s a high chance that a lot of guys are swimming in her DM which is why you would want to make sure your own message stands out from the crowd.

Girls often have to go through a lot of creepy messages on Instagram and because of that it’s difficult for a guy with genuine intentions to actually have a chance with her. That shouldn’t be the case for you because right now you will be getting to know about some major tips on how you can DM a girl on Instagram.

The thing is how to DM a girl is just as similar as communicating with any girl in person, it can be tricky but if you are able to pull it off then you’ve given yourself a chance with her. Let’s not drag on with this because you came here for one reason “how to DM a girl on Instagram”


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Before even getting right into the key things you need to know when it comes to “How to DM a girl on INSTAGRAM” you first have to build up that confidence within you to make it possible. You can’t sit down all day without making a move; if you want to DM that girl then you have to be ready for it and what comes after. Confidence is an important factor that is required for any guy to have when it comes to impressing a girl.

The reason for that is if you doubt yourself and you keep feeding yourself with negative thoughts like “you are not good enough” then you increasing your chances of getting rejected because you are already rejecting yourself. You have to be able to recognize your own self worth above anything else.

You need to understand that no one is going to take your phone and send her that message for, you like this girl why not build up the required confidence and message her. Take control of how you want things to turn out and you can never really know what the outcome might be if you don’t take the next step.


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Honestly when messaging a girl on INSTAGRAM try as much as you can to not be basic and that means you shouldn’t send her “hey” because that’s not enough to strike up a conversation with her. You can’t send a girl “hey” as a standalone message, you have to include other things that would prompt her to reply you.

There are countless pickup lines out there but you just have to find the one that will give her that extra push to reply you back. You are someone she don’t know and sending a simple “hey” wouldn’t help your chances with her. It is clear that on a daily basis she might resume lots of messages from guys and majority has to be just “hey”.

To fully get her attention you need to lure her in with a message that will capture her interest and if you don’t already know any pickup lines to do the trick for you, then I’ll drop some few pickup lines that you can make use of. Most pickup lines come off as cheesy but that’s just enough to get the job done.

  • Hey, you’re pretty, I’m pretty. What do you say we go home and stare at each other.
  • Hey, I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.

The aim is to make her giggle at least when she sees them and that will indicate to her that you might be fun to have a conversation with and respond back to you.


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You are probably wondering what this means but it’s quite simple. When you want to DM a girl on INSTAGRAM you want to make sure that the first message you will ever be sending her will be enough to make her laugh at least. Girls are more interested in someone that can make them laugh and now you are going to be that someone, well you need a good sense of humor to keep every conversation going.

While messaging her at first you have the power to decide the direction of your conversation with her, do you want it to keep on going? or you want it to die off the first? You alone can decide that by how you’ll be messaging her. Now if you don’t know of what you can say to keep her interested when she reads your first message, as always I’ll be helping out and you if you feel the need to know more, search up other pickup lines and modify it to how you want it. Now before that, let’s get right into it.

  • Hey, I’m wondering and just wanted to ask. What’s it like looking at the man of your dreams? ( She will instantly get what you are trying to indicate at and would want to know what else you have to say so get ready for that reply)
  • I have a feeling knowing you is like wonderland and I want to be Alice

You can as well check up on other pickup lines and give them some few tweaking to sound the way you want.


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What this implies is, you shouldn’t take chances with her and come at her with everything you’ve got and that means throw in your best pickup message. Trust me, trying to go soft at her wouldn’t do her or you any good, you want to be able to grab hold of her attention and to be able to do that you want her to throw in all your effort.

The message you send her will let her know that you are taking a risk and all she has to do to make it worth it, is for her to respond. Whatever you will be sending will be enough to steal a response from her, let’s get right into few of them.

  • Hey, I’m a dancer, a romance and that don’t even matter because I can be anything you want but definitely not a quitter.
  • I think I’ve seen your picture somewhere before. Oh yeah, that’s right. It was in the dictionary next to kablam!

The aim is to show her you are coming at her with everything you’ve got and while still maintaining the aim to get her to laugh.


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Females feel comfortable when a message comes in and they read and then there’s an emoticon attached to it, it makes that message refreshing. If you were going to send her a message for the first time then you would want to make use of the proper emoticons. You can decide to add either a kissing, winking and heart eyes emoticons to your message. By doing this, you’ll be able to expose your flirty part so she will see you as someone she can talk to when it gets to that part of the conversation eventually.

You need to know just how well you can make use of the emoticons so it won’t come off as you doing too much. Let it be simple and moderate, keep her guessing how well you can make use of an emoticon when you send her that message.


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There is a common mistake that most guys do and that is going straight to her DM when they should first take the time to go through her Instagram profile. Now you might be wondering why you need to do that, the reason behind it is that most females put a clue about their interest on their profile and post about her favorite places. When you interact with her profile you will be able to know about them and it makes it easier for you to strike up a conversation with her without it boring out.

Take your time and go through her profile, check out her photos, pay attention to her captions, how she responds to comments from people. Doing all of that will give you an understanding about the kind of person she is, you will have the upper advantage from other guys because you now know what interests her.

These are key information that will help you out when you start messaging her. Being able to understand an individual, gives you the opportunity to have a real and authentic conversation and she will find you entertaining.

Now that you’ve gone through her profile then you have an idea the kind of first time message you can send her. Let’s say you have taken note of her interests then you can simply DM;

  • You always have the best music in your stories! I’d love to swap playlists
  • I’m jealous of your cooking skills, I can’t even make toast without burning it!
  • You have quite the taste for amazing series, I’d love it if you can recommend some series.

The overall aim is to make sure you take her interests into consideration and strike up a conversation from them and then give her feedback to let her know you actually did check them out rather than simply taking advantage of them.


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If you don’t know what the term “Alpha Male” stands for then let’s go over what it means and how well it increases your chances of getting your required response when you’ve successfully sent her that DM. An Alpha Male can be seen as the guy who can talk to any woman regardless of her status, he’s able to approach her and keep up a conversation with her and you have to let her see that by going through your INSTAGRAM profile.

This will be your final take from everything you have read so far. Females want to be with a man not a boy and when she finally responds to your message, have it in mind she is definitely going to check out your INSTAGRAM profile as well and what she sees from your INSTAGRAM profile and how well you are able to keep up with a conversation will make the decision for her to continuing conversing with you.

Alpha Males are usually good looking, both in face and in body, they know what they want and they don’t restrict themselves. Alpha Males radiate with their own kind of self confidence and that’s why it’s important to work on your confidence before you even decide to slide in her DM.

Yes, you sent her that pickup line but are you able to keep up that same energy from the pickup line. The thing that most guys fail to realize is that there are major things to consider when it comes to messaging a girl and how it will play a role on you getting a response from her. You already know how you will be able to DM a girl on INSTAGRAM but now you have to make her see that you are truly different from the other guys constantly parading her DM.

You have to make sure you are worth her time, ensure that your INSTAGRAM page doesn’t come off as being childish and your posts should be able to strike up a conversation between you and her. She’s going to check out your page and see the kind of person you are. If she finds something intriguing she will bring it up in a conversation with you and it might either be

  • Your fashion style
  • Some place you might have visited
  • An activity you took part in

Ensure that you make her realize she’s not engaging in a conversation with a boring person but rather someone she can learn from and get to know more of.

As it was mentioned earlier, you were here to learn how to DM a girl on INSTAGRAM but also you get to know how you will be able to put yourself above every other guy she will be getting messages from because at first your messages are going to stand out and also your INSTAGRAM profile will be more striking to her that she would want to engage in other conversations with you.

You know how you properly look at your appearance before walking up to a girl in person; your INSTAGRAM profile will be doing just that for you. The thing is in person you might come off as an Alpha Male but if you neglect your INSTAGRAM profile from giving off that same Alpha Male vibe you are ruining your chances with her.

Go through your INSTAGRAM profile and ensure to put up eye catching posts that will get her wondering what other things you are interested in. I know this is something you weren’t expecting to see at the end of your journey reading about “HOW TO DM A GIRL ON INSTAGRAM” but see it as a bonus point for you. Don’t limit yourself when you can take the extra mile.


Honestly, you came here for a reason and it wouldn’t feel right if you leave without getting what you were looking for. There are always going to be other guys and they all have interest in sending that girl a message, when you finally realize this you’ll be able to set yourself apart from the competition because you won’t see them as one.

Understand that if you keep putting yourself down and thinking you are no match for the guys already messaging her then you already lost without even trying. And also did you ever stop to think “what if she’s not interested in those messages”. Ladies are more drawn to a vibe that they find interesting and that first message you send to her will be the deciding factor for you and you would want to give it all you’ve got.

You never know what you’ll get when you DM a girl on INSTAGRAM and you’ll never know the outcome as well if you don’t, so stop holding yourself back because right now you already have what the other guys don’t have and that is you are well informed on “HOW TO DM A GIRL ON INSTAGRAM”.

Regardless of whatever approach you want to make use of ensure you are sending her the proper message that will give you the response you are looking for and when you finally get a response from her, you being respectful will make her become more interested in you and would want to engage in more conversations with you.

Nicole Tolstoy

Nicole Tolstoy is a content marketing writer, freelancer and a model. She also does scriptwriting for film producers and joined numerous film competitions. Nicole says " To love and be loved is happiness "

View all posts by Nicole Tolstoy →

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